you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
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