Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
