in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Randomize
