I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
