OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
