hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
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