I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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