i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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