You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
