Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
