I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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