They should really pass out barf bags in church
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Randomize
