I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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