I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
