you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
