therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
