We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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