I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
