Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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