Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
