i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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