I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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