i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize