grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
he quoted the bible to break up with me
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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