No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
