so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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