she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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