I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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