I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
