Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
