Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
