Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
