I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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