Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
