I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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