I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Randomize