I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
