Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
You have to summon your inner elephant
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize