she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
