last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I am one with the molecules
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
