I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
