the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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