she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
