I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
