haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
