I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
