My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Randomize
