love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
