so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
