My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize