Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
