Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
