now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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