So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
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