In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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