Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
