Your mouth is God's brothel.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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