How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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