I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
