i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
