are you still at the devil's house?
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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