Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
