So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
